love... by kids...

so. i get lots of chain email letters... you know, those kind you just delete and never read... hahahaha.. just kidding!!! anyhow... i really loved this one. probably because im a romantic and i love this kind of stuff... but this is so sweet and so cute... awwww.... no matter what anyones place in life, i think this is what everyone wants, to different degrees... but i think everyone wants this... it's human nature...


A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds,
'What does love mean?'
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined See what you think:

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca- age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'
Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones..'
Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'
Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8

And the final one The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

been a while...

well. it's been a while since i have blogged... so i will give a quick update on how everyone is doing.

eryn... she's hilariously funny. she auditioned as one of a million competitors to sing at her school "IDOL" program. she didn't make the cut, considering the massive amounts of "singers" who competed. she was, although, offered a spot on the "IDOL CHOIR". with some convincing from rachel and brittany, she agreed to be a part of the choir. she had her first practice today after school. one of the songs they are singing is "do, a deer, a female deer, ra, a drop of golden sun, me, a name i call myself, fa, a long long way to ruuuun, so, a needle pulling thread, la, a note to follow so, te, a drink with jam and bread, that will bring us back to do do do do..." i smiled so big with memories of "the sound of music"... she was shocked when i knew the lyrics to the song, like i was from some crazy planet. like she was the first person to ever hear that song. it was funny. a reminder of how old i am... :)
the last time we all went to get manicures and pedicures, i let her get her nails painted. oh. she was in heaven with her sparkly pink nailpolish. it was so cute. she thought she was such a big girl...
she ran a relay race at her school. her team won the race. she has told danielle that she wants her to help her learn how to run well. and she has decided that track is something she wants to do... she told me today (my dream come true) that she wanted to play sports instead of be a cheerleader... hahahahahaha... i am so not cut out to be a cheer mom! :)

ethan... what a kid. he just finished up his season of t-ball. he did so well. and im not just saying that because im his mom and i need to brag about my kid. he is a talented little boy in the world of baseball. he loved his season and his team. he was on the angels. and wants to continue to play. so that is exciting. by the end of the season they were not using the tee... and hitting actual pitches. he had a little fan squad. it was cute. i was there, rachel was there, rachels basketball girls came and my mom (until she fractured her heel) and dad and my sister and the boys came to sporadic games. we would all cheer for him. it was cute. and he loved it. he adores sports all around. he is obsessed with rachel's basketball girls. and it's not just because he likes them as people (which he does love them... all three of the kids love those girls)... but he watches them play. he is enthrawled with the game... it's so sweet to see him admiring such amazing girls.
he is improving with his behavior and hope he stays on that path... we have struggled with school and daycare behavior... but he seems to have learned how to keep himself in check most of the time... im proud of him.
he just lost both of his front teeth. so he is so funny with his little lisp... hahahahaha.

eliot... wow... where do i begin? this personality that has emerged the last few months is just amazing. he is so smart it's scary. his brain works in this way that is very similar to rachel. and different from most everyone else in the world. i remember that one time rachel was explaining to me how she processed the bending of toes on a foot and how many different things come to mind as that one seemingly simple action takes place. that is exactly how eliot thinks. he evaluates, processes and doesn't stop until he really understands what it is he is thinking about. he talks through, out loud, situations that go on around him. and if you ask him a question about it, he has a real answer that makes complete sense. i hope i made sense in that description of him.
he is loved by everyone he comes in contact with. his new saying right now is "that's special". his heart is just unbelievably huge. eryn and ethan like to gang up on him and pick fights and make his life a little more difficult than need be. and even though they leave him out and pick on him, they are eliot's priority. an example is that rachel and i took eliot shopping for his birthday. we told him to pick out any toy he wanted for his birthday. he looked around for a little while and then looked at eryn and ethan and asked them to pick what toy they wanted because he would want to play with them for his birthday. it was the sweetest thing.

we are doing super well. life is good. i have no complaints besides being tired... but from what i understand that is a permanent state of mind for a while... i have rearranged my work schedule so that i am able to have a lot of free time with and for the kids. i am enjoying that freedom... so there is a quick little update... more to come... :)

boundaries

so. i am a HUGE grey's anatomy fan. i started watching it the first season and have not stopped. i even made it through the season that was BORING!!! and then this season is so good!!! anyhow... i was watching season one on dvd yesterday and you know how meredith does her whole "end of the show narrative"? hahaha... well. she said this "boundaries do not keep people out, they just fence us in".
i started then, evaluating all my boundaries. and dang... i have tons. i have tons of walls built up, as i justify, for my protection. and i can see, kind of, the importance of beginning to take those down. for instance. one big mess of boundaries i have is with my family. all that we have been through. i have built up tons of walls and boundaries with them because of our life experiences together. i think my dad was the only one i didn't have any walls built up with, because really, he says like 5 things a year... it's not hard to be open with him... because he doesnt say anything really... hahaha. but my mom and my sister. dang. but this past week i have been, by wonderful situations, forced (in a total good way, forced) to spend more time with them. and i have begun to tear some of those walls down. and it feels so good inside. they really do love me. and i really do love them. regardless of the things we have been through, they are my family. and i miss our closeness. i miss how people avoid us like the plague when we are together because we are loud and embarrassing and open and honest. i miss our bantering. i miss how we show each other love. i miss those tender moments. i love my family. and i am so grateful for the time we have been able to spend together. someone close and special to me has told me that i am lucky to have my family, lucky to have a family that cares. and i have realized this, again, this past week.
so. that's my example. of course i have boundaries in many other places. but it's rather exhilarating to begin to demolish those walls.

stereotyping

so. saturday morning... i went to am/pm to indulge in a VERY small fountain drink, dr. pepper with crushed ice (an amazing treat). i was standing in line. i was second in line and there was a gentleman behind me with a trail of people behind him. the registers at the am/pm were acting up. not the fault of any person in the whole building, just a technology glitch. the manager is apparently working on it as quickly as he can and the other employee is trying to appease the people in line with her apologies and smiles. i was not even irritated, believe it or not. then the gentleman behind me started yelling at the manager, telling him things like "your equipment is faulty" "you should invest in better stuff" "get the &#*%! fixed" just being pretty rude. and pacing back and forth and sighing and grunting. made his point very clear that he was irritated. the manager was not rude and actually was handling himself well, considering he was attemting to fix this situation. so, he stopped ranting and raving for a moment and at a time of peace he leaned forward to me and said "you must be in your 20's". i didn't know quite how to respond to such a random comment. i replied "no, in my 30's". and he said to me "well, the only people i know stupid enough to drink soda in the morning are kids in their 20's". well, i immediately start thinking of a million mean and horrible things to say to this man, that i was already irritated with, when i was saved by the gentleman behind him. he said "you must be a gardener". and the rude man said "no. im a business man, why did you think i was a gardener?" and the other gentleman said "well, your mexican, so you must be a gardener". the rude man didn't even know what to say, he attempted backpedaling for a minute and then realized the mans point and backed off. he never apologized or anything, but he sure didn't have anything else to say.



so there are two thoughts i would like to share. first I AM NOT IN MY 20's ANYMORE!!!! holy smokes. my 20's are over. and i guess i have been so blah about turning 3o that i didn't even stop to reflect on that decade of my life. so. i took some time to do that on saturday. wow. what a 10 year block in my life. the worst and the best things are included there. i cannot even go into thoughts about my 20s because it would be a 5 mile long blog... at some point, possibly, just not now... but what an amazing decade of life. i hope my 30s are little more calm... hahahaha...



then my other thought is about stereotyping. that man assumed i was in my 20s based solely off the fact that i was drinking soda in the morning. how ignorant. how stupid. how closed minded. the gentleman was right about then coming back with taking a generalization about a race of people and making the same type of assumption on him. just because of a characteristic does not classify me into a group of people. im individual and unique regardless of my age, my habits, my race, my sex. i am sandra. and he is him. he has his own story, just as the rest of us do. anyhow. i am going to work harder on not classifying people and placing them into categories based of characteristics... anyhow... another lesson learned. again. :)

ear to ear

ethan has been asking for a quite some time to start playing baseball. we decided that this is a good season to start. he is playing in our city t-ball little league. his love for this game is crazy. he literally smiles from ear to ear when he is on the field. he throws well. he hits well. he could use some catching practice... but over all he is pretty good. and more importantly, he loves it. it brings me such tremendous happiness and huge smiles to see him enjoying this so much... i sure hope this gives him some needed boosts... it's a pat on the back that i can't give to him. it's that sense of accomplishment. that sense of belonging. the sportsmanship.

as parents we should know and accept that we can't possibly give our children everything they need to be successful in life. they need experiences and other people to provide those learning and growing opportunities. those situations with his peers to teach him how to interact. this is one of those for ethan. he needs this to help him grow into the man he is to become.

i got some shots of him batting... he is adorable. i will keep you updated on his season and how the angels are doing!!!

tracy

i have listened to Tracy Chapman since days with amber roskelley. and i had never heard this one, or it never stood out to me before this night. i was in the car friday night with someone and heard this song for the first time. it was overwhelming, the emotion i felt when i heard this song. i actually teared up and attempted to hide it. all i said outloud was that it was a sweet song. i came home and listened to it. and then all day saturday i listened to it every opportunity i got. i cried a couple times. listened some more... it's such a good song. it touched a very tender spot in my heart... enjoy these lyrics... and listen to the song. she is just amazing!

ps. i will wait for you. i do miss you. please come fill the space that's reserved for you in my heart. im waiting... im watching and im wishing you were here...

THE PROMISE
By: Tracy Chapman

If you wait for me then I'll come for you
Although I've traveled far
I always hold a place for you in my heart
If you think of me If you miss me once in awhile
Then I'll return to you
I'll return and fill that space in your heart

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
If you'll be waiting

If you dream of me like I dream of you
In a place that's warm and dark
In a place where I can feel the beating of your heart

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
If you'll be waiting

I've longed for you and I have desired
To see your face your smile
To be with you wherever you are

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
If you'll be waiting

I've longed for you and I have desired
To see your face, your smile
To be with you wherever you are

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
Please say you'll be waiting

Together again
It would feel so good to be
In your arms
Where all my journeys end
If you can make a promise
If it's one that you can keep,
I vow to come for you
If you wait for me and say you'll hold
A place for me in your heart.

random happenings...

so. i wrote this out during a moment, a sandra moment. hahaha...

we have all said or heard at some point "everything happens for a reason". it sounds so cliche. until the other day, it hit me... it made sense, in a different way. everything absolutely does happen for a reason. we are offered jobs, people die, kids get sick, people we love get married, marriages end, old friends find us, tragedy, victory... etc...

we cannot control the things that "happen" to or around us. we can control how we apply those things to our lives. we choose what we do with these things.

that old friend found their way back into your life, what are you going to do with it????

someone that you could fall in love with has offered you their heart, what are you going to do with it???

you are jobless, what do you choose to do with it?

i could go on and on, like always, i just find that big opportunities come in and out of our lives... and if we wait too long, the opportunity may not be there. but if we jump too quickly without thinking, it could be a bad situation. such a fine line. i have learned not to let good opportunities pass me by. i have learned that saying what i need to say is important. but filtering it and not letting all thoughts loose is important as well. i have learned that i cant bulldoze through situations. i have learned that i am not always right and have learned to open up to hearing another side and considering that it may be right, or better. i have learned to not be so prideful and self righteous. i have learned that the people i trust and care about, their opinions are very important to me. i have learned that i can care deeper than i thought possible.

see. i just went on a tangent. hahahaha.... one thought led to another, and on to another... hahaha...

i choose to invest in the good things and people that come into my life. i choose to filter the bad opportunities and thoughts out of my life. i work on the ability to diagnose a situation as good or bad, accurately. i choose to make the best out of the things that "happen" to me. i choose to rise above. and i choose to be happy!!!!

normal

as we go through life, we discover "normal". we think others were raised the same way we were. we think that circles of friends function the same as ours. we think others are similar or the same to us, because it's what we have learned as "normal". it feels as though after we find our normal (which is a discovery process all on it's own)... we at some point, then realize that our normal, is abnormal to everyone else. and that we are all unique and distinctly different than our own "normal". some realize this at a very young age... and others, it takes quite a while... but part of growing up and maturing is realizing this concept. but even bigger than that concept is learning to accept, love and embrace those differences as learning experiences and opportunities to cultivate growth. and loving those people because they are different and they have so much to offer to our plate.

i have not always been so good with this. i have learned more recently in my life that differences are the reason this world is so colorful. and so beautiful. as i grow to love, and strengthen the love with the people i am close to, because they are different and i attempt to see things from their "normal" perspective, i am strengthened, i learn, and my mind is opened. my definition of love expands. and the word love means more to me than it did previously. i have learned that part of unconditional love is allowing the people i love to make decisions for themselves, love them and support them. all the time remembering that i would handle a situation differently than them, and their way is not wrong, it's just different.

i want to be a better person. i want to be more compassionate and understand more fully the differences in the people around me. i want to broaden my view of "normal" and allow others "normal" into my mind and heart. i want to learn more about the people i am close to and allow myself to embrace their thoughts, more openly than i have been doing so. i want to open myself up to give more and soak up the amazingness of them!!!

more than satisfactory

so little man brought home his preschool report card...

they do full evaluations of those kids. eliot is receiving the best possible "grades" in preschool. he identifies all his capital and lowercase letters. he recognizes the sounds of all 26 letters. all of his pre-reading stuff. his handwritting stuff. his numbers and geometry. his teacher's comments were "eliot is doing great. we love having him in our class".

this is his writting sample that was attached to his report card. and then behind that is all his letters written out. it's just amazing how much the kid knows... his knowledge combined with his sweet gentle spirit... he is going to be an amazing man!!!! i am grateful for him.

just a little click

eryn is a little princess. she is very girlie. and enjoys most "girlie" activities. painting nails, makeup, jewelry, doing hair, dressing up... so on and so on... (hahahaha... so not me, it's so funny). so we thought it would be cool for eryn to get her ears pierced. she has asked when she was going to be able to wear earrings like brittany... so, it was a good 8th birthday and baptism gift... oh. no. she's growing up!!!

anyhow we went to the mall... eryn was good until she looked up at me and said "mommy, i need to go to the bathroom". we all kinda laughed and realized that she was probably a little nervous. so britt took her to the restroom while rachel and i filled out paperwork...

before she climbed up into the official ear piercing chair, she had us all feel her heart that was jumping out of her chest. she then took position and a couple tears fell. the employee cleaned the lobe and brought the marking pen up to eryn's ear and she pulled away. so we started walking her through the process. britt explained to her that it was going to make her ears feel hot. rachel kept telling her that it doesn't hurt. it's just a little click in your ear. she had herself all worked up. it didn't help that little brothers were concerned about her and trying to hold her legs and her hands. the girl had to do one ear at a time because they only had one girl on duty. i went over to her side and held her hand... they did the right ear first and i think she was kind of shocked that it didn't hurt. then she sat good for the left ear. it was done.

she admitted that we were all right with our descriptions of how it doesn't hurt, how it's hot, and it's a little click in her ear and that she would be okay.

britt then told us that eryn explained that her fear was that she was going to move when they were about to pierce her ear and she would have a hole in her ear where one didn't belong... she's funny.

so she has beautiful little earrings. i have attached the video that she sent to my mom showing off her ears...

love

i used to be a huge blogger when i was married. i usually outletted on myspace.... i know, blah... but it's where it was... and then since my divorce, i have just stopped. and i realized that it seems to be very theraputic for me and there is no reason i cannot continue to blog, even if it is not read by anyone... it's nice to lay thoughts out... sometimes i will have random thoughts and hypothetical situations or ideas. like now... i am thinking about love and thoughts on love... BLAH!!!!!

i, as a young girlie girl, used to see this fairytale in the land of sandra... didn't we all have those thoughts as little girls. this fairytale of someone riding in on a horse and sweeping us off our feet and living happily ever after (or something to that extent... mine was different than that... but you get the idea) ...and then life happens. we date. we have people in our lives. there are friends and there are relationships that teach us and show us. there are super positive experiences and then there are those horrible and negative experiences. either way we learn, hopefully pick up and keep going...

and now that im 30. i have loved. i have lost. i have shared. and i have hurt. when i married clint... i really gave my everything to him. even though things were rocky from the beginning... i placed my trust in that situation that it was going to be forever. i really did believe, for some small amount of time, that i could trust him. i gave him my heart. i gave him and my kids, my all. i gave up, at some point... and then in feb of 2006... i threw in the towel. surrendered to be part of the 70 percent divorce rate in our country. i know, that during my marriage, i gave my all, at different times. there were, of course, times that i should have or could have tried a lot harder. i do not look back and regret leaving. it was not premature and it was, i think, the best decision... im sure there are different thoughts on that one... but for me, it was the right thing. i also took my whole heart back. there was healing to do for ME, but not because i had left part of my heart with clint, i took my whole heart back. i had emotionally healed from losing clint before we seperated. i had been in counseling, not that counseling is the key for everyone, but it really did help me. but there is nothing that can prepare anyone for that situation, even if it's the right decision, it's not easy. and just to be clear... i DO NOT blame our failed marriage on him, alone. it takes two to tango. oh... i could go on and on... but i will stop there...

i still at that point believed that love was possible. i still believed that at some point in my life, i would love and be loved.

well. now my thoughts are different. i will not go into detailed thoughts on it right now... i just cant do it to myself or for the sake of this in writting... but my thoughts are very different now. and maybe at some point i will be able to release those things... but for now, they are still stewing and im figuring out how to let them settle inside me...

random thoughts...
love isn't perfect. it isn't a fairytale or a storybook, and it doesn't always come easy. love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go. we think about it, dream about it, and lose sleep worrying about it. when we don't have it, we search for it. when we discover it, we fear losing it. or some may fear holding to that love and letting it happen. it is the constant source of pleasure and pain. but we can't predict which it will be from one moment to the next. it is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, impossible to live without. love doesn't make the world go round, it's what makes the ride worthwhile. love is work, but most of all, love is realizing that every hour, every minute, every second of it was worth it because you did it ... together...

ivs and needles

well. saturday january 10th ethan woke up with a fever. we put a cold cloth on his head and gave him some tylenol. he laid in rachel's bed all day. he threw up in the afternoon, twice. sunday, he was feeling okay and wanted to get up and go. we had to make him lay down and relax. on monday... he was yucky again. had a fever and also started complaining of ankle pain. he went to work with me, he had no appetite still, and fever. tuesday he was feeling okay, so he went to school. when i picked him up from daycare, he was in so much pain, he was crying on the table. i felt so bad for him. on wednesday he woke with a fever and pain again. so i made an appointment for him to see his doctor. dr. saade was not in... so we saw dr. kelley. dr. kelley ran some tests. we went to downey regional medical center to take x-rays and some blood work. dr. kelley said he would call me with results. his SED levels in his blood are supposed to be under 30. and his were at 68. so, they had me take him down to long beach memorial. rachel and i took him down there and waited for a bed there until midnight. they put his iv in about 330a. thank goodness rachel was there, because she is much better than i am at that. he was admitted with possible osteomylitis, a bone infection. after all the tests were said and done, they said they were treating it as inflammatory arthritis. we were released late saturday night. it felt like a massive amount of time in the hospital... he was on motrin every 6 hours. so it was taking away his fever and his pain. his SED levels when we left the hospital were at 82. but the doctors said that it will take a little while for those to come down. rachel took ethan to his follow up appointment this past tuesday and all his levels have returned to normal, and he is doing just fine now. he had a serious birthday celebration in the hospital. it was a very kind place. we were all very happy with the hospital and the staff... it was a very nice place... thankful ethan was treated there... but dang, it was scary for a minute. but all is well!!! :)

the introduction

hi my name is sandra. i am 30 years old (no. i have no issues with turning 30...). i am a single mom of 3 beautiful children... who keep running... constantly... eryn is 8. ethan is 6. and eliot is almost 5. we live in downey. we live in front of my best friend, rachel and her sister brittany, in a duplex. those two have been such a huge blessing, and i am very thankful to them for their love and support. also next to a group of the best, most caring, giving and considerate neighbors (we can have a "who has the best neighbors" contest... and i would win). the olmedo family, the hamby family and the saucedo family. we are super close and spend a lot of time together and all the kids are very close and enjoy spending time together. eryn is in 2nd grade at rio hondo. ethan is in kindergarten at gallatin and eliot is in preschool at creative beginnings. i am self-employed and work for an attorney service in huntington beach. i also do process serving. and rachel and i have some stuff coming up... i also sell homemade greeting cards. i have help from brittany and rachel in making them... just need to market better and get my name out there.

alright... so there is a little bit about us... more to come...