boundaries

so. i am a HUGE grey's anatomy fan. i started watching it the first season and have not stopped. i even made it through the season that was BORING!!! and then this season is so good!!! anyhow... i was watching season one on dvd yesterday and you know how meredith does her whole "end of the show narrative"? hahaha... well. she said this "boundaries do not keep people out, they just fence us in".
i started then, evaluating all my boundaries. and dang... i have tons. i have tons of walls built up, as i justify, for my protection. and i can see, kind of, the importance of beginning to take those down. for instance. one big mess of boundaries i have is with my family. all that we have been through. i have built up tons of walls and boundaries with them because of our life experiences together. i think my dad was the only one i didn't have any walls built up with, because really, he says like 5 things a year... it's not hard to be open with him... because he doesnt say anything really... hahaha. but my mom and my sister. dang. but this past week i have been, by wonderful situations, forced (in a total good way, forced) to spend more time with them. and i have begun to tear some of those walls down. and it feels so good inside. they really do love me. and i really do love them. regardless of the things we have been through, they are my family. and i miss our closeness. i miss how people avoid us like the plague when we are together because we are loud and embarrassing and open and honest. i miss our bantering. i miss how we show each other love. i miss those tender moments. i love my family. and i am so grateful for the time we have been able to spend together. someone close and special to me has told me that i am lucky to have my family, lucky to have a family that cares. and i have realized this, again, this past week.
so. that's my example. of course i have boundaries in many other places. but it's rather exhilarating to begin to demolish those walls.