change

change is a concept I have attempted to truly grasp.

**side story** I have always wanted to get a tattoo... but being the chicken I am with that sort of pain (im guessing since I don't actually know), and the fear of an 80 year old tattoo being extremely unattractive on saggy skin has always derailed me from such a thought. and one time I had an appointment to go and get my first tattoo, and a dear friend of mine VERY kindly reminded me what a dumb idea that was... and the appointment was cancelled... I decided a year ago the type of tattoo I would get as my first tattoo (you know, the one I will probably never actually get) I am in love with the infinity sign, and would get it on my finger as here in this picture

maybe a little bigger than this, but on my finger just as shown. but in the infinity sign words can be written... as shown in the next picture... and I decided I would get the word change (instead of life as shown in the picture)

the reason I would choose this tattoo is because change is infinite. it is always a guarantee... and I am sort of attached to that idea. again. I will most likely never truly get this tattoo... just my brain mulling around silly 16 year old girl thoughts... hahahaha... **end of side story**

I have found myself in a situation where change is inevitable. there is a major change that will without a doubt happen. some big decisions that need to be made. I have been through similar major changes in my life and I am here on the other side of change. with change comes nerves and anxiety and uncertainty. all of these feelings I don't have mastered yet.

I am a firm believer that when one door closes, another one opens. I believe that none of us are doomed to a situation handed to us, there is always an option, there is always a choice. and yet in the midst of change there are moments where it feels too heavy and like a gray cloud swarming around. I am grateful for the confidence I feel in myself to believe that things will work out. I am thankful for the many experiences that have taught me that I will make it through this too. and that if I have nothing else... I am confident in my own skin that I know for sure I will come out on the other side and be able to handle the next major change in my life, as I am guaranteed that will happen...

I am thankful to those who truly love me and support me in my changing, my thoughts, my honesty. im thankful for opportunities to grow, learn and change... big deep sigh...