ramble about self worth

i think one of the hardest things to teach anyone is self worth. it's such a hard concept... such a hard thing to grasp and then after you find it... its holding onto it and remembering all the positives, especially when the going gets tough...

i love that line in the movie "THE HELP"... the maid says to the baby she cares for and has the baby repeat her "YOU IS KIND" "YOU IS SMART" "YOU IS IMPORTANT". what important words for a child to hear and repeat. what a tender way to build self worth!

i have personally been through many things in my short 33 years on this earth. many life lessons and experiences that have taught me massive lessons. i used to think i wanted to be like elizabeth gilbert (EAT PRAY LOVE) and take off to different countries, have those experiences and use them to better myself... to use that time and those experiences to "find myself". and although, the idea is a very pleasant one... that is not a possibility in my personal life. hahahahah... for many reasons... so... i have embarked on a journey inside my own life to find myself. i have never taken the time in my personal life to find myself. and figure out what i want, how i feel and where i want to go.

i take the things i cannot change or fix in my life and build off that. i am a mother. i cannot stop being a mother. the other thing i cannot change is that i have to make a living for the four of us. i have got to figure out how to make ends meet. those are the two things i cannot change or rearrange in my life. everything and everyone else is a CHOICE! being happy and feeling worthy of happiness is a choice. each day is ours to live... and i am thankful for starting to find my self worth that helps me in being confident and sure in my decisions...

i have chosen along my journey to accept that i am going to fall and accept that im only human and that i am going to make mistakes. i am going to second guess myself. i am going to wonder if i am doing right by my kids. i also have decided that when i make mistakes... i am going to fix them to the best of my ability and learn a lesson from each mistake. but in the end... i KNOW that im a good person. i know that i am worthy of love and i know that i have a tremendously huge amount of love to give. i choose to be honest. i choose to give to the people around me. i choose to stay true to the core definition of sandra and live my life constantly improving myself and adding to my good qualities... hopfully i can fill up with wonderful attributes and eliminate the bad qualities... :)

find your happy spot and stay there... go there FOR SURE when things get rough... keep your head up and believe in yourself. you are for sure more important than you realize and more important and special than you give yourself credit for... :)

my happy spots are rainy days, the beach, oprah (i know that makes me nerdy... hahaha), going new places and experiencing new things, a tender heart, gentle sweet moments where love is felt and there is a definent connection with people, disneyland,

please find your feeling of self worth... and do right by yourself! know you are worth your thoughts and feelings. a friend of mine just posted "stand up for what you believe in... even if that means you are standing alone"... have that confidence and self worth that you are amazing and that your beliefs deserve to be valued and appreciated.... and stand up for them... be confident and believe in yourself that you can do that and be willing to stand alone!

<3

and dont forget it!!! :)

catch up

so... apparently i let blogging slip to the bottom of my priority list... i am going to try my hardest! hahahahaha...

quick catch up...

me... just turned 33. LOVE that number. "some people try to turn back their odometers. not me, i want people to know 'why' i look this way. i've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved." ~~will rogers~~ i am running my business that was established april 2009. running a business is a very difficult endeavor. i have sole custody of my three angels since august 2009. we have come a long way. and continue to grow and learn. and im living in the same house since september 2007. love my house. all for me is going well... have some speed bumps, but other than that... seem to be taking steps forward. :)

eryn. omg. she will be 11 this saturday. i dont even know where the time has gone. she currently has straight "A"s and taken on basketball as well. she LOVES school. she works hard and is always striving to do better than the last report card. the GATE program has no funding... so her teachers are trying in every way they can to implement GATE activities into their normal studies during the school day. i am so thankful for that extra effort. she has been to a few basketball practices and very recently played her first two games. she has lots of improvement, but loves the sport... so i am confident that she will do well. she could always use a good book. she also loves nail polish and all those girlie things taht i dont do well. hahahah....

ethan is going to be 9 on friday. holy smokes. i cant even believe it. he struggles with grades, as i understand most boys do. his struggles are pure lazy... so i am hoping to get rid of those lazy habits as to improve those grades. he loves drawing. he has a sweet friend at school who gave him a sketch pad for christmas and it is one of his favorite things to do... draw. he loves elvis presley. he has a huge book all about elvis. he was elvis for halloween, and he was offended that people were so impressed by his costume. hahahahah... he has NO CLUE about the legacy that elvis has left... it's hilarious. he also loves to dance. a song that he likes comes on and he is all over it. it's cute.

eliot is going to be 8 in march. the kid is in complete transition from baby/little kid to big kid. and he is not enjoying the road. he also struggles with grades. i also believe his grades are due to lazy behaviors... so we are working on those as well. eliot loves to dance... he is shy with it but when he is home and a song comes on that he likes... hahahha... he is rockin out! eliot also loves hex bugs. i know, random. but he could play all day with those things... he also LOVES, more than i do, blankets and pillows. he is the biggest cuddle bug. and if there is not a person around for him to cuddle... the blankets will have to do... his bed is all blankets... in the morning i play "where's eliot"...hahahaha...

anyhow... that's a little bit... we are well and healthy. so many things have happened that have showed me how thankful i am and need to be for life... the precious moments and time we have here on this earth! will share more later... that's that for now! :)